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I offer specialist counselling for those who are experiencing challenges related to birth, pregnancy and parenting.
What are you struggling with?
Did you have a difficult birth experience? Is constantly re-living it making it impossible to enjoy life with your baby? Or do you feel that your birth was 'stolen' from you? Do you find it difficult to talk to friends and family about quite how much your birth experience has affected you? Or perhaps you've been told (unhelpfully) "You should be grateful, at least you got a healthy baby".
Or perhaps your little one is already here, but parenting and life as a family is much, much tougher than you imagined? Do you feel constantly guilty that you are not the 'perfect parent' that we hear so much about in the media? And in the struggle to be the 'perfect parent' you've lost any sense of yourself and who you are apart from 'Mum' or 'Dad'? Perhaps you are aware that your mental health has suffered, but in the relentlessness of being a new parenting you are struggling on pretending everything is fine?
Or perhaps you are pregnant and struggling with anxiety about your forthcoming birth? Do your anxious feelings mean you feel 'stuck' at the thought of the birth, so you can't seem to get past it to imagine enjoying life with your new baby?
Or perhaps now you've moved into this new chapter of your life, old stuff has surfaced that you thought you'd managed to deal with years ago, but is now bothering you again.
Why do people come to me?
People come to counselling with me for many many reasons - anxiety, low mood and depression, stress, help with dealing with traumatic experiences (including birth and breastfeeding related trauma), parenting and family problems, concerns about bonding with their child(ren), partner conflicts, lack of self confidence or low self-esteem, and lots more.
How can counselling help?
Imagine how it would feel if you could give voice to all those really big difficult feelings? In a completely safe space where there is no fear of being judged for not being the 'perfect parent' or 'perfect partner' and or of being misunderstood as not loving your baby or child(ren).
Imagine if you could remember your birth experience and the memories you value of the time your little one joined you, but without feeling overwhelmed by the accompanying terror and distress that remembering can trigger. Imagine knowing that you have the skills to cope when those really difficult feelings arise.
How I work
I provide a safe, comfortable, private environment in which you can say all the things you don't feel you can say to anyone else. Your time with me is a protected space in which you can unburden yourself and take time to acknowledge the scale of the change that becoming a parent represents.
I work from what is often called a 'person-centred' approach, which means that I will never try to tell you what you to do, or insist that my way is the right way. You know yourself, your body, your baby/child(ren) and your circumstances much better than I do. I will listen and help you to explore what feels important to you.
When you feel ready, we will discuss options and alternative ways in which you might move forward, and I can help you weigh up options if you would find that helpful. If appropriate I will help you learn and practice techniques and tools to help you cope outside of therapy sessions. I cannot take away difficult experiences but I will support you in getting to a place where you feel you can see a way forward.
Practical arrangements
Your time with me is a chance to focus on you and your needs, and I would encourage you to leave your baby/child/children with someone you trust if possible. However please do not let a lack of childcare be a barrier to you seeking support - I'd much rather you come with your little one than not come at all. You are welcome to bring babies with you, and of course to feed them, change them and otherwise meet their needs during sessions. A lift is available immediately inside the front door of the building to enable you to bring your buggy/pushchair/car seat to the counselling room if you'd like to. There is a playground just across the road if you would like to bring someone with you who can supervise your child(ren) at the playground during your session.
Sessions are held in a historic converted building at the top of Cane Hill. There is easy parking right outside the door, and the venue is also easily accessible by train and bus.
Now is a good time to get in touch
You don't need to wait for the mythical 'good day' that rarely comes, and you don't need to dress up, or put on make-up (unless you want to of course!) - just be brave enough to get in touch and we can take it one step at a time from there.
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